I have dealt with several emotions in the past few months. Everything from pure joy, to burning hot anger. Crippling anxiety, to happiness so intense I thought my heart would surely burst.

You may ask why these feelings are so exaggerated in their phrasing. I need you to understand that I know no halves. If it is love, I will feel it from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes. And if it is anxiety, I will hold me hostage to its false preaching of my unworthiness.

unfamiliar territory

Out of all these feelings, the one that has brought me to my knees, and to the brink of falling into a pit of pitch-black, was disillusionment.

There is nothing quite difficult like dealing with the fact that something is not how it was perceived to be. Disappointments come in all shapes and forms. That is a feeling that you can shake off almost immediately. Nevertheless when this moves further to disillusionment, you are left stumbling in the dark trying to recover.

As I write this, I am only starting to get my feet back on the ground, and with them a lot of lessons tied to my ankles. Lessons that will hold me down the next time a wave this strong threatens to shake my foundation.

I’ll find my way home

I still, however, don’t know how to get rid of the aftertaste it left in my mouth on its way out of my system. Maybe you can help me find something to cleanse my throat.

If you ever get disappointed do not let it fester. Like an untreated wound, it will find a way to eat through everything you have. Always find a way to move past it quickly.

As for my feelings of disillusionment, I learnt that nothing and no one is perfect. But you will ALWAYS find a way to move past it.