Closing time, a song by Semisonic remains to be one of my favourite songs of all time. For all the years I have known it, it has always been a feel-good song. I never thought that one of my favourite lines from it would one day cause me major anxiety.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”

Unlike Semisonic, I don’t know who I want to take me home. I do not even know if I want to go home, or anywhere else for that matter. All I know is that a beginning has come to an end and I am terrified. I am at a crossroads and I have no idea where to go. The worst part is that there are about a dozen paths I could choose to follow . However the fear of what new beginnings lie on the other side holds me back .

As a Millenial, especially one who has just completed university, everywhere you go everyone seems to be asking the same age old question;
“What’s next? Have you thought of where you want to work yet?”
No matter how many texts I ignore and calls I decline, this question seems to follow me everywhere, together with the weight of expectation to get my life together that seems to hover like a dark rain cloud, painting this picture of a bleak rainy future if I do not answer and have it figured out by last week.

This dread is further cemented by the feeling of the world moving at such a fast pace . I worry if I don’t run fast enough.I may not keep up, I could be left behind. So here I am, frantically searching for my trainers and not finding them anywhere. Everyone around me seems to have figured it out, which adds to the panic, fear and anxiety.

A 2017 article by Vogue Australia labeled Millenials as the most anxious and depressed generation in history. I mean what a time to be alive right? Most of these feelings stem from all the things that are around us, pushing us to be this and that. Our parents view us as lucky since we got or get to grow up with things they never had such as technology. But how lucky are we if these are the things that are killing us?

The pressure to have it all figured out, in an age where job opportunities are scarce, and income seems to be going into the linings of all the wrong, already loaded pockets can be a very heavy load to have to deal with, and my shoulders, our shoulders are tired. I wasn’t made to be Hercules but here I am carrying the weight of your expectations.

Social Media comes as no help since everyone seems to have this picture perfect life, making most of us wonder if we are worth the picture still. We are a generation that is slowly cracking under the weight of the pressure, and it is destroying most of us. Though we are not lazy, stubborn, or unfocused. We’re just scared and anxious, trying to find a way .Trying to figure out how to be ourselves first before knowing what’s next.