So young girls are fucking with guys twice their age, corruption is running rampant in the country, theft of public funds is at an all time high, joblessness is strangling the youth and Police brutality is a a constant issue.. And here I am, a writer, a man capable of drawing the attention of readers to this issues, choosing instead to write about Kenyan wildlife.

You’re probably questioning my motives here but lemme just be frank with y’all. I realized a valuable lesson when on my primary school trip to Ambosel and I hope this lesson gives you a new outlook on life. For about a week prior to the Amboseli trip, my primary school buddies and I were excited about it. We were low-key hoping that our disciplinary teacher who was to accompany us would be eaten by a lion. It was a shared hope, my personal hope was that I’d sit next to my pri school crush and that we’d form a bond that would result in me seeing her tits in future.

None of what we hoped for happened, that trip was the equivalent of climbing a bus and traveling for kilometers to a hill where you would eat bread and soda then return back to your home. Because that’s literally what happened. At the Amboseli gate we were greeted by literal elephant shit. Giant mounds of shit dropped by elephants were scattered right by the gate. It excited us because we thought we’d see elephants, it acted as proof that we’d definitely see elephants but none of that happened. All the way to the hill where we were to have lunch, the only animal we saw were a bunch of zebras which is the equivalent of seeing donkeys zimeomoka.

We climbed the hill to the top, my dumbass had this slight hope that there was a telescope up the hill that could enable us to survey the land and see more animals other than zebras but nope.. There wasn’t any telescope. The disciplinary teacher told us to sit the fuck down and he handed out bread and soda.. We ate.. Then we went down the hill and back to the bus. We drove around the expanse of land.. I sat at the back of the bus, my crush was sitting at the front.. I had my head out the bus most of the time but I didn’t see anything.. Not even a lion.. Not even the elephant that supposedly took a shit at the gate that got us so excited. I started wondering whether it was collected human shit we saw. At around noon our travel bus came to an abrupt stop.. There was a Hyena crossing! The students screamed in excitement at seeing the first carnivore through out the entire trip.. Our cheers frightened the animal and it ran away. It was a giant hyena, dirty looking.. It looked like that alcoholic uncle that didn’t have his life together and wears the same boxers during all family gatherings.

As I watched the only carnivore I’d see that day run away, I decided to capture the image of its ass as it awkwardly ran with its short hind legs.. It looked funny and I started laughing at it. I laughed for a solid five minutes and in that short period of time I didn’t see the whole trip as an absolute let down.. I loved it.. I loved the moment and everything that led up to it because without it all I wouldn’t be laughing at that exact moment.. And that was when I realized that the only thing preventing me from being happy was me.

My expectations were meeting Lions, Elephants and probably even seeing a lion hunt down a gazelle. But do you know how rare it is to come across such things? Such circumstances? Chances high you’ll only ever see a lion take down a gazelle in an animal documentary. Seeing the hyena’s ass as it ran away was the highlight of my day and I freaking loved it because that wild ass saved me from loathing safari trips.

I want you to look at the metaphoric version of a Hyena’s ass in our current Kenyan lives.. Take a look for instance at girls who sleep with men twice their age, the “Sugar daddy” / “Sponsor” scenario is causing quite an uproar but let’s search for the metaphoric Hyena’s ass in all this.. First we gotta expound our minds, allow ourselves to grasp every detail and not fall victim to bias. For starters there are young boys who are fucking women twice their age.. Why is it that the boys aren’t being highlighted and it’s only the girls? Is only one gender to suffer the consequence of such an act? Consequences don’t care about gender.

People have a reason for doing things.. If a broke guy who has absolutely no idea where his next meal will come from is approached by a rich mature lady.. He’ll see it as a meal ticket.. So will a girl being approached by an older guy.. Money is the problem to be honest, we’ve prioritized money to a point where we basically worship it. I’m sure if you’re paid well enough to suck your own dick on live TV you’ll strain to achieve said self sucking flexibility.. We all want money..we believe that 90% of our problems can be solved by having it, a false belief.

Money can’t buy everything. Same goes with corruption.. You’re given a chance to steal billions of Kenyan funds.. You don’t think to yourself, “This money should go to the people where it’ll help better the community.” nope.. Instead one thinks “If I don’t steal this cash right now those beneath me will steal it, I wish to better the community but passing this money down towards those who’ll give it to the community would be me making a stupid mistake.” Our esteemed leader told us that two billion worth of cash disappears daily. If you were in a position to steal public funds, would you? Come on..don’t be pretentious.. A couple of millions in your bank account is only one theft away.. Would you take it? LOL

You’re probably wondering “He said there’s a Hyena’s ass in all this.. A moment of pure bliss amidst misery , where is it?” it’s actually a matter of perspective.. Let’s draw our attention away from all that’s happening, all the problems that are plaguing our Kenyan minds and search for the Hyena’s ass..The truth is, the Hyena’s ass isn’t something we all can appreciate. In that bus full of tired primary school kids, I was the only one laughing. I was the only one enjoying seeing an animal I never thought I’d ever see. It’s all a matter of perspective, you can choose to highlight the bad that’s going on in our lives or see the good.. What’s the good you ask?

The good is that in 130 years we’ll all be dead. All of us, we don’t know what’s on the other side of death.. We don’t know what is awaiting us, but we are alive now. Each breath you take, every heartbeat you feel is proof of your existence. Is a politician stealing from us? Probably, but if you place your hand to your heart you can still feel the beat. Do you know how big a deal being alive is?It means you can smell a flower’s fragrance.. It means you can love and be loved.. It means you can lie on a bed of grass and roll an illegal blunt with your best friends while staring at the clouds. We have to stop acting like problems prevent us from living.. We have to recognize the significance of life in every passing moment. Sure politicians steal and your girlfriend’s probably getting fucked by someone your dad’s age but problems will never cease.. If the problems going on now end they shall be replaced with others. All over this country we suffer for different reasons but we’re alive right now and there’s somebody you love or someone that loves you and that’s something your mind will never let you acknowledge because you believe without your woes you will be truly free to appreciate life.. Jokes on you.. Woes don’t end.You’re probably comparing your life now with a past period of it that had less woes.

A time when you didn’t have any problems. Since you’re relating to the past let’s go further back to the life of a black slave born abroad in 1896..when the slave hit 18 years of age it was 1914, the beginning of World War 1. If he was lucky enough to survive the war to the end at 1918, it meant he would have to encounter the Spanish Influenza that started in the same year., A pandemic that killed millions. If he managed to survive that, at the age of 43 Word War 2 started.. And if he was healthy enough to hold a riffle he would have to participate. To top it all of, he was still black. The internet didn’t exist back then so how could he protest? How could he cry out at how difficult his life was?You’re probably like “What’s this dude trying to say?” I’m telling you that the Hyena’s ass is ever present. All we have to do is realize that this life is a gift and our beliefs sometimes prevent us from seeing it as such but in truth it always is. All we have to do is look out of the window of our mind’s metaphoric bus and see the short hind legs and the tail wagging across the metaphoric Hyena’s ass as it ran away.. Just that simple pulling away from whatever it is we believe is plaguing us and acknowledging something we had no idea can bring us joy, will bring us joy.

We are alive. Let’s live in every moment, let’s mention the good and not only the bad like the evening news often does. Let’s not be ignorant of the beauty of life. Let’s observe the Hyena’s ass and let lose for once a hearty meaningless laugh.. Lol