‘Runaway’ by Kanye West is not only the greatest piano-laced song of all time, but also the greatest song of all time, period! Oh God! The haunting piano chords, the wobbly bass and the cello strings that makes the song come alive quarter-way through its 9 minutes length; the unfeigned mushy lyrics where Ye blatantly states he’s an asshole, while Pusha T – the featured artist – portrays the character of a distasteful pseudo lover, not to mention the 3 minutes long outro that has West’s vocals distorted using a Vocoder to sound like an electric Smashing Pumpkins’ guitar, is nothing but a symphony of sweet sorrow.

Dear God, the song is a flawless masterpiece: The Mona Lisa of songs. My favourite painting is actually ‘The Storm on the Sea of Galilee’ by Rembrandt, but that would be too complicated to reference, hence I went with the overly mentioned, clichéd painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Amongst other things I am an art connoisseur, a sucker for mushy songs, a heel, and an emotional contortionist; a human with no emotional support pillar, except for when I’m listening to 808’s and Heartbreak, MBDTF (which is by far the greatest album of the decade, IMO), Kid Cudi, Nirvana, XXXTENTACION, or the devilishly handsome Frank Ocean. I carry a bright smile with me wherever I go, always exposing my perfectly unaligned canines to try and paint a picture of a happy camper; but if you could look past my chiseled jawline and the facade of my devil-may-care attitude, you would see that darkness lurks deep inside me.

I am also an ugly schizoid: An ugly paranoid schizoid who’s broken free from the matrix we live in, hence unfit for this 21st century world that’s ruled by macho-driven, testosterone-filled male chauvinists whose sexist ideology is of manipulating and subduing the feminine ones into taking up the false authoritarian teachings that they are children of a lesser God.

I carry brimstone in my veins. And a luminous fire burns in my heart. A fire ignited by the one who cannot be mentioned by her two names, because I’m equally a gump and a wuss for her. I crave her so bad, my lungs collapse above my diaphragm for every time I spend without her. My superpower, however, is being invisible to her, yet somehow she sees something in her effeminate boyfriend.

*******

I love you Dorothy! And I will always love you until the year 3001.

I still remember the night we first met. When we drank whiskey, had fun, and talked about how we were such devout fans of Fun… We were so young.

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I’ve taken up religion as my new drug, my escape route from her, but inadvertently and inevitably, this path leads me back to her.

I’ve been studying Hinduism – the world’s oldest and truest tradition – to try channel and tap into my divine feminine energy, my numen, which I wrongly call my ‘Lemurian hermaphrodite’ on purpose.

In Hinduism it is said that a day of Brahma (one of the three most revered gods, the other two being Vishnu and Shiva), is equivalent to 4.32 billion human years; the same period it takes the Earth to achieve an incarnation.

This is going to come out as corny, but it feels like 4.32 billion years, or 14 manvantaras (Earth evolution cycles) – as 14 manvantaras delineate 1 day of Brahma – for every day I spend without her.

I’m in the process of reinventing myself, trying to find my inner butterfly so that I can incarnate as the Earth, and become a higher conscience.

Tonight, 26th December 2019, the being formerly known as Danny Mwenda dies. And he shall be reborn, like a phoenix, into a higher functioning body, in a higher frequency world with a different root race that’s absent of social constructs. A world in which I will no longer be scared of being lonely, or accessing my own mind.

I’m tired of it all. I’m tired of using weed + Coscof pills which contain promethazine, and which I purchase at my local drugstore for KSHS. 10 a pill, to numb an avalanche of feelings inside me.

Tonight, I’m going to run away as fast as I can from myself.